When You Grow Up

and the pressure of finding a dream job

unsplash photo by Sasha Freemind

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A veterinarian. An interior designer. A photographer. A massage therapist. A yoga instructor. A nutritionist. A graphic designer. A writer. A marine biologist. A travel blogger. A special effects make-up artist. A teacher. A botanist. A video editor. An archaeologist. A mother. Happy.

Growing up, we’re all asked the same question by various people: what do you want to be when you grow up? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this question, or how many times it’s already been brought up to my almost 7 year old.

I don’t think there’s inherently anything wrong with this question, it gets our brains going, our imaginations dreaming of what the future can hold. But I think so very rarely are we encouraged to dream differently. From a young age we’re already being prepared for the future of work and what it will look like, being told we must pick something to follow.

And don’t misunderstand me, I know this is simply a part of life, we all must find something we are passionate enough about to follow, to pay the bills, I get that. But the question I’m coming to ask is when was the last time anyone told you it doesn’t matter what you do, so as long as you’re safe and happy? What if instead of asking what career we’re striving for we accept if someone says they want to be a parent, or to travel or be an artist. Why can’t simply wanting a life well lived be enough in itself? Why does it have to come with the dreaded, ‘yeah, but what do you want to do for work?’ Who cares?!

Currently my daughter is on a kick of caring for her pretend pregnant animals, drawing sonograms and setting up nurseries. I’m convinced she could be a midwife one day, but she said no, she just wants to have a farm where all the pregnant animals can come to have babies and never leave. Realistic? Maybe, maybe not. But am I going to pop that bubble? Nope. She will learn as she grows what can be attained and what cannot. I don’t need to burden her childhood with that.

I had my dream bubble popped way too many times over the years that it set me back from actually trying to go after anything I remotely wanted for fear of failure. When in reality the only failure is not trying at all.

Sometimes I regret not going to F.I.T. in NYC like I wanted, to get my graphic design degree. Sometimes I don’t. Because when I look back, I realize it doesn’t really matter to me what degree I’m holding, as long as I’m healthy, safe and happy. And I am.

Not having a degree in something doesn’t mean I can’t continue to learn about it, to practice it. Certain things definitely need a degree, like a vet, but to write, to play around with make-up and make gory art on my body? Free to explore to my hearts content.

It took me a long time to realize that just because I didn’t decide to pursue formal education in something doesn’t mean I have to abandon my love for it. I can still learn about it on my own time, I can still grow without the heavy expectation of turning it into a career.

See, I never could stick to one love, so picking a career to follow overwhelmed me. It made me feel stuck in a box, like I would pick that and have to see it through forever, never changing. And then there was everyone telling me I would be a starving artist, that I was too sensitive to handle criticism and it would make me miserable. Being told that at eighteen definitely left a lasting impression on what I tried and didn’t. I didn’t want to prove anyone right. But my focus should’ve been on proving myself right, to chase my dreams.

It may have taken me some time but I’m proud of where I’ve gotten myself. My books are far from perfect, but they’re mine and I put them out there. And I know there will inevitably be someone who writes a scathing 1 star review for my immature characters in my debut series, but that’s okay, I expect that, I wrote them that way on purpose. My art is not currently for sale, but I’ve sold some pieces. And I intend to keep going, to keep learning new things, to keep trying.

Long winded thought wrap up: it’s okay to not know what you want to do with your life! If you have to pick something you’re only semi interested in to get by until you know, that’s okay. To me, the goal should be a happy life, one you’re proud of, that you feel safe in. And if that includes your dream job, even better. But take the pressure off of yourself for a minute, sit with your eyes closed and instead of imagining a dream job, imagine a dream life. One where you’re living to the fullest, what does it look like? Chase that instead.

Because here’s the kicker, I’m still growing up. And so are you. Continuously, every day. Changing, learning, becoming. Don’t stop dreaming of what can be because society calls you an adult. Keep that wonder, let the spark of imagination burn. It’s worth it.

Thanks for spending some of your time with me today, I’m so glad you’re here!

Until next time ✌🏻

💭 Tell me, what are some things you dreamed of growing up?